home is where the heart is...

last night at church the guest speaker spoke about brokenness, and that without being broken first, God is unable to heal our hearts...and when we are so broken we can't think straight, the best place to be is on our knees, where our heart is above our head

i have to be honest...my heart is breaking as i watch the days go by more quickly, and my mind is reeling...my husband leaves in 9 days for Iraqi training, and i will see him for 5 days after that at Thanksgiving, and 3 days after that for Christmas...then on January 2nd, he leaves for Iraq, and i won't see him again for another 10 months

i can't even begin to imagine what it will be like being away from him for that long...
i really and truly am scared, but i know there is hope...that this is only 1 year out of a lifetime together, and God is going to bring so much good out of this time...i am believing and expecting God to make miracles and to bring Paul and i closer through Him

today my husband and i are beginning to pack up some of our belongings...some of it (very little actually) will go with him to Iraq, some of it will go with me to seminary in January, some of it will go with me to my parents' house where i will live until January, and most of it will go into storage to be kept safe until my husband comes home next year

to me, this is a place of holy ground...our first home...where so many of our first memories were made

...where i first learned to cook my husband's favorite meals

where i first learned that doing 2 people's laundry, instead of 1, takes up a lot more time

where i first realized that home is not necessarily a place, but a feeling of warmth and security

where i first learned that marriage is more than signing a legal document

where i first invited friends over to entertain and show hospitality towards

and where i first learned what it REALLY means to love another person unconditionally and to be loved in return

our first home will always be sacred to me, and i plan on taking pictures of everything to show our children one day...

as i fight back the tears while packing up all of our things, i am reminded that everything we have is just that...a lot of things...and those things are not what make our marriage work, or even what make a home for us...

home is where the heart is...and no matter where i am, i feel safe and secure knowing that my God is the one who holds my heart in His hands, and my husband holds the key...