death
just that word alone gives people odd thoughts, tingles and nervous feelings
it’s not something we want to think about, talk about, or experience, and in today’s society it is almost taboo
human beings have an innate fear of death, likely because every one of us knows it is inevitable...we do everything we possibly can to slow down our aging process, to slow down time, to put a stop on dying in any and every way we can come up with...yet no matter how rich or famous or powerful or influential one may be, or how invincible one may think he or she is, he or she will still eventually die
in our culture, one of the largest philosophical questions that arises is “what shall we do with death?” Albert Camus was the one who said that death was philosophy’s only problem and that anyone who has watched a loved one die understands that problem well
Dr. Ravi Zacharias says “In the West, when responding to death we hold two postures. Our public decorum is distinct from our private pain. No culture on earth does more to dress up death while at the same time reducing it to a “ho-hum” reality in the workplace. However, our hypocritical indifference to death is turned to unbridled rage if the dead or the dying are in any way seen as victims of some imperialist power at whose door the blame can be laid.”
the question of death and what to make of it is not only the private concern of the religious, but it has drawn the attention of everyone, even agnostics and atheists alike...it pleads for a response
when it comes to the topic of death, most of us have schizophrenia...Sigmund Freud describes this in relation to our feelings during tragedies, natural disasters, and even war:
“Our previous relation to death has been disturbed. This relation was not sincere. If one listened to us, we were, of course, ready to declare that death is the necessary end of all life, that every one of us owed nature his own death and must be prepared to pay this debt – in short, that death is natural, undeniable, and unavoidable. In reality, however, we used to behave as if it were different. We have shown the unmistakable tendency to push death aside, to eliminate it from life, and to avoid it at all costs. We have tried to keep a deadly silence about death: after all, we even have a proverb to the effect that one thinks about something as one thinks about death. One’s own, of course. After all, one’s own death is beyond imagining, and whenever we try to imagine it we can see that we really survive as spectators. Thus the dictum could be dared in the psychoanalytic school: at bottom nobody believes in his own death. Or, and this is the same in his unconscious, every one of us is convinced of his immortality. As for the death of others, a cultured man will carefully avoid speaking of this possibility if the person fated to die can hear him. Only children ignore this rule... We regularly emphasize the accidental cause of death, the mishap, the disease, the infection, the advanced age, and thus betray our eagerness to demote death from a necessity to a mere accident. Toward the deceased himself we behave in a special way, almost as if we were full of admiration for someone who has accomplished something very difficult. We suspend criticism of him, forgive him any injustice while on earth, pronounce the motto de mortuis nil nisi bene (“let nothing be said of the dead but what is good”), and consider it justified that in the funeral sermon and on the gravestone the most advantageous things are said about him. Consideration for the dead, who longer need it, we place higher than truth – and most of us certainly also higher than the consideration for the living!”
perhaps the appropriate label for our society is not schizophrenic, but thanatophobic (thanatophobia is the fear of death) and hypocritic...just look at the life of someone like George Carlin, famous comedian who recently passed...nothing but good has been said of this man and his life now that he is no longer here...however, if you look at his life and the utterly crude and vulgar things he professed to commend, quite boldly in fact (one of his major comedy acts was called "Religion is Bull-****" in which he stated the lines, "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity" and "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."), very few of us would actually have much good to say about him...but we'd rather exalt someone like him because he has died than to exalt someone who is living that is actually making a difference in the world
the truth of the matter is, we are terrified of death, because none of us who is alive has been completely and permanently dead...none of us knows what to expect, and even those of us who believe in a literal heaven or afterlife are still somewhat leery...so most of us go around pretending that death doesn't exist, and when someone dies, we exonerate his or her character, while at the same time, deep down inside, we are scared that this person didn't "make it" to the afterlife, if that afterlife even exists...the death of someone else is usually the only time we think of our own, especially if it is someone we care about...we think about our own death usually in relation to whether or not anything is to come after the fact...whether or not there is, once again, something more
so the question remains... “what shall we do with death?”
there is only One who has the answer
...part 2 coming soon...
30.6.08
25.6.08
spiritual warfare...
recently, Paul and i have been experiencing some weird phenomena in our home, and we are sure that what we are facing has been spiritual...we are not sure if it is an attack on our marriage or what, but this is not the first time i have experienced something like it...
a couple of days ago, while i was upstairs by myself (Paul had not yet gotten home from his 2-week training in Alexandria), i heard a loud crash and ran down to see what had happened
our beautiful giant wall clock had come off the wall and crashed down into a million peices, and it landed on two of my standing crosses and broke both of those in half
a few nights later, right after Paul came home, we heard another crash and i was scared to death, so Paul ran downstairs to see what had happened
he came back upstairs with a worried look on his face and said, "look at this"...
on our mantle above our fireplace, we have a statue of Jesus, washing the feet of a disciple...it was a wedding gift from my grandfather and a symbol of our relationship because Paul proposed to me by washing my feet...the statue, which was sitting on the mantle when we went to bed, had somehow ended up on the floor and the heads of both the disciple and of Jesus were perfectly cut in half...
then, last night, about 1 am, we heard another crash...once again, Paul got out of bed to go see what had happened...this time, when he came back to our bedroom, he was extremely upset and wanted me to come see what it was
going upstairs, next to the staircase, i have about 10 decorative crosses hanging on the wall...2 of these crosses had come off of the wall and fallen down the stairs, again shattering into a million peices on the hard floor...the nails in the wall, where the crosses were hanging, are still in place...
i did not for one second believe this is all a coincidence, so Paul and i spent the next hour praying over our home and for each other and against any presence other than that of God which may be in our home or in our lives
compared to what i have seen in other countries, like Mexico and Guatemala, and what Paul has seen in other places as well, we consider this mild...however, it is important that it be dealt with accordingly
when dealing with spiritual warfare, Christians usually either under-emphasize (i.e. pretend it does not exist, usually because they are not in tune with the spiritual world) or over-emphasize (i.e. go about casting out demons everywhere and out of everyone) this issue...there should be a proper balance here when dealing with Satan and his forces, because it is absolutely real and God commands us to stand up to and resist evil...
Jesus did not give us Christians all of the authority...He is the only One who has all authority under heaven and on earth...however, we were sent the Holy Spirit by Jesus himself in order to be of direct help to us and to give us power to use when it is necessary
the Bible mentions biblical warfare several times:
"We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil's stronghold's... break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God... conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ." (2 Cor 10:3-5 NLT)
"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Eph 6:110-12 NKJV)
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints...” (Ephesians 6:13-17 NIV)
God has given us the tools by which to resist Satan...He knows that if we are Christians on this earth, we are going to face the powers of darkness eventually
we need to be ready for the attacks that will come, and we need to stand up and defend those who are helpless against Satan's schemes as well, esp. those who do not know Him...for a follower of Christ, its part of the job description
i encourage you, if you are a Christian, to batten down the hatches...stay in prayer and in the Word of God constantly...continue to minister to others who are held captive and are in bondage...read up on the topic of spiritual warfare and continue to learn all you can...
we need to be prepared...
remember, a bigger battle is coming...
a couple of days ago, while i was upstairs by myself (Paul had not yet gotten home from his 2-week training in Alexandria), i heard a loud crash and ran down to see what had happened
our beautiful giant wall clock had come off the wall and crashed down into a million peices, and it landed on two of my standing crosses and broke both of those in half
a few nights later, right after Paul came home, we heard another crash and i was scared to death, so Paul ran downstairs to see what had happened
he came back upstairs with a worried look on his face and said, "look at this"...
on our mantle above our fireplace, we have a statue of Jesus, washing the feet of a disciple...it was a wedding gift from my grandfather and a symbol of our relationship because Paul proposed to me by washing my feet...the statue, which was sitting on the mantle when we went to bed, had somehow ended up on the floor and the heads of both the disciple and of Jesus were perfectly cut in half...
then, last night, about 1 am, we heard another crash...once again, Paul got out of bed to go see what had happened...this time, when he came back to our bedroom, he was extremely upset and wanted me to come see what it was
going upstairs, next to the staircase, i have about 10 decorative crosses hanging on the wall...2 of these crosses had come off of the wall and fallen down the stairs, again shattering into a million peices on the hard floor...the nails in the wall, where the crosses were hanging, are still in place...
i did not for one second believe this is all a coincidence, so Paul and i spent the next hour praying over our home and for each other and against any presence other than that of God which may be in our home or in our lives
compared to what i have seen in other countries, like Mexico and Guatemala, and what Paul has seen in other places as well, we consider this mild...however, it is important that it be dealt with accordingly
when dealing with spiritual warfare, Christians usually either under-emphasize (i.e. pretend it does not exist, usually because they are not in tune with the spiritual world) or over-emphasize (i.e. go about casting out demons everywhere and out of everyone) this issue...there should be a proper balance here when dealing with Satan and his forces, because it is absolutely real and God commands us to stand up to and resist evil...
Jesus did not give us Christians all of the authority...He is the only One who has all authority under heaven and on earth...however, we were sent the Holy Spirit by Jesus himself in order to be of direct help to us and to give us power to use when it is necessary
the Bible mentions biblical warfare several times:
"We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil's stronghold's... break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God... conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ." (2 Cor 10:3-5 NLT)
"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Eph 6:110-12 NKJV)
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints...” (Ephesians 6:13-17 NIV)
God has given us the tools by which to resist Satan...He knows that if we are Christians on this earth, we are going to face the powers of darkness eventually
we need to be ready for the attacks that will come, and we need to stand up and defend those who are helpless against Satan's schemes as well, esp. those who do not know Him...for a follower of Christ, its part of the job description
i encourage you, if you are a Christian, to batten down the hatches...stay in prayer and in the Word of God constantly...continue to minister to others who are held captive and are in bondage...read up on the topic of spiritual warfare and continue to learn all you can...
we need to be prepared...
remember, a bigger battle is coming...
20.6.08
saying goodbye again...
for the past few days i've really been digging into God's Word to try and fill up this deep hunger i've been experiencing lately
i'm not really sure where its coming from, but i feel like i'm starving for God to speak to me...to reveal new things to me...to make me more like Him...to change the things about me that i cannot change myself
i also started doing a personal Bible study by Beth Moore called David: A Heart Like His, and so far i really love it, but at the same time, there are parts of me that hate it
those are the parts of myself that i keep trying to say goodbye to
the apostle Paul says, in Romans 7:15-25:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
there is that constant struggle of bad and good within me...my flesh waging war against my soul over and over...everyone who follows Jesus has experienced or should eventually experience this
this journey that i'm on with Christ is a continual battle...that is one of the things i love about the Narnia books (the title of my blog, further up and further in, comes from there, in case you are wondering...its the title of the last chapter of the last book in the whole series, and my favorite...read them if you never have)...in each of the stories, there is always some kind of personal battle and physical battle that the characters must go through, and each one is to prepare them for the great battle, the Last Battle for God's Kingdom in the end...in each of the characters in those books i see a bit of myself, both sides of myself...the sides that i like, and the sides that i cannot stand
you see, that is just one of the great paradoxes of life...that God continues to love us and teaches us to love ourselves, but at the same time wants us to die to ourselves and the things inside us that reject Him
my heart and soul yearn for perfection...not the kind of perfection our world goes after (success, looks, popularity, etc), but Christian perfection...to get back to the pure image of God i was created in
sometimes i wonder if i will ever get to that point...i struggle with wondering if its even possible to get to that point...some theologians say that on this earth, it's not possible because we live in a sinful world, and until we get out of it, we cannot be perfect in God's image...then there are others who say that it is possible to achieve Christian perfection while on earth, and that there is no point to being a Christian if we cannot make it there
i'm not sure where my stance on that is, but i do know that everytime i even think i'm almost 1/3 of the way there, i take about 10 steps back
i hate the things in me that go against God...the times when a thought crosses my mind and i wonder, where in the world did that come from? the times when i get frustrated at someone else for their shortcomings and yet do not realize that i still have the same plank in my eye...the times that i know i've been ungrateful or envious or uncaring...i hate those things
but i think this is where the idea of "perfect love" in the Bible comes in...it is only His perfect Love that is going to change those things in us that we want to get rid of
so all i can do is just continue to say goodbye...to keep dying to myself...to keep surrendering and repenting and asking for forgiveness and worshipping my Creator...to keep living in His perfect love every day
and who knows when the sin will go away...i sure don't...but i know that i can continue moving forward, striving for what i long for in my heart, for the good inside to overcome the bad...praise God that i don't have to do that on my own, that he sent the Holy Spirit to be my helper and guide to work inside my heart
Abba Father,
My heart cries out to You in humility again. Thank you for the things You have done, are doing, and will continue to do in my life. Search my heart, my mind, my soul, and continue to reveal to me the ugly places inside that I need to give back to you. I'm sick inside, infected with this thing called sin. Forgive me Jesus for the ways I curse your name through my actions. I lay down everything before Your feet again. Help me to overcome. Help me to say goodbye again. I long for only Your Glory to be visible when others see me. I am desperate for Your perfect Love to come and clean out the gutters of my heart. I ask for your Holy Spirit presence to be manifest in my life, so that nothing but you overflows to others around me. Speak new revelation to me God; open hidden mysteries through your Word to me again. I pray for all those out there who do not know You Jesus. Keep calling them by name until they hear You and come back to You; I know that it is your will for everyone to come Home to You. I pray for the Church as well, that we would be a light-house in a dark world, a place for every person of every background, religion, race, nationality, to come, a place for every homeless, heartbroken, hungry, hurting, and helpless person to come. I pray that the Church would no longer go through the motions, but that we would really be set on fire for the world and for those who need You oh so desperately. There are so many. Thank you Father. I love you and praise You, not just for what You do, but for Who you are. Come Lord Jesus, come. In YOUR name alone.
Amen
i'm not really sure where its coming from, but i feel like i'm starving for God to speak to me...to reveal new things to me...to make me more like Him...to change the things about me that i cannot change myself
i also started doing a personal Bible study by Beth Moore called David: A Heart Like His, and so far i really love it, but at the same time, there are parts of me that hate it
those are the parts of myself that i keep trying to say goodbye to
the apostle Paul says, in Romans 7:15-25:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
there is that constant struggle of bad and good within me...my flesh waging war against my soul over and over...everyone who follows Jesus has experienced or should eventually experience this
this journey that i'm on with Christ is a continual battle...that is one of the things i love about the Narnia books (the title of my blog, further up and further in, comes from there, in case you are wondering...its the title of the last chapter of the last book in the whole series, and my favorite...read them if you never have)...in each of the stories, there is always some kind of personal battle and physical battle that the characters must go through, and each one is to prepare them for the great battle, the Last Battle for God's Kingdom in the end...in each of the characters in those books i see a bit of myself, both sides of myself...the sides that i like, and the sides that i cannot stand
you see, that is just one of the great paradoxes of life...that God continues to love us and teaches us to love ourselves, but at the same time wants us to die to ourselves and the things inside us that reject Him
my heart and soul yearn for perfection...not the kind of perfection our world goes after (success, looks, popularity, etc), but Christian perfection...to get back to the pure image of God i was created in
sometimes i wonder if i will ever get to that point...i struggle with wondering if its even possible to get to that point...some theologians say that on this earth, it's not possible because we live in a sinful world, and until we get out of it, we cannot be perfect in God's image...then there are others who say that it is possible to achieve Christian perfection while on earth, and that there is no point to being a Christian if we cannot make it there
i'm not sure where my stance on that is, but i do know that everytime i even think i'm almost 1/3 of the way there, i take about 10 steps back
i hate the things in me that go against God...the times when a thought crosses my mind and i wonder, where in the world did that come from? the times when i get frustrated at someone else for their shortcomings and yet do not realize that i still have the same plank in my eye...the times that i know i've been ungrateful or envious or uncaring...i hate those things
but i think this is where the idea of "perfect love" in the Bible comes in...it is only His perfect Love that is going to change those things in us that we want to get rid of
so all i can do is just continue to say goodbye...to keep dying to myself...to keep surrendering and repenting and asking for forgiveness and worshipping my Creator...to keep living in His perfect love every day
and who knows when the sin will go away...i sure don't...but i know that i can continue moving forward, striving for what i long for in my heart, for the good inside to overcome the bad...praise God that i don't have to do that on my own, that he sent the Holy Spirit to be my helper and guide to work inside my heart
Abba Father,
My heart cries out to You in humility again. Thank you for the things You have done, are doing, and will continue to do in my life. Search my heart, my mind, my soul, and continue to reveal to me the ugly places inside that I need to give back to you. I'm sick inside, infected with this thing called sin. Forgive me Jesus for the ways I curse your name through my actions. I lay down everything before Your feet again. Help me to overcome. Help me to say goodbye again. I long for only Your Glory to be visible when others see me. I am desperate for Your perfect Love to come and clean out the gutters of my heart. I ask for your Holy Spirit presence to be manifest in my life, so that nothing but you overflows to others around me. Speak new revelation to me God; open hidden mysteries through your Word to me again. I pray for all those out there who do not know You Jesus. Keep calling them by name until they hear You and come back to You; I know that it is your will for everyone to come Home to You. I pray for the Church as well, that we would be a light-house in a dark world, a place for every person of every background, religion, race, nationality, to come, a place for every homeless, heartbroken, hungry, hurting, and helpless person to come. I pray that the Church would no longer go through the motions, but that we would really be set on fire for the world and for those who need You oh so desperately. There are so many. Thank you Father. I love you and praise You, not just for what You do, but for Who you are. Come Lord Jesus, come. In YOUR name alone.
Amen
13.6.08
love as it was meant to be (part 2)...
part 2 (read part 1 first, below):
according to C.S. Lewis, among many other scholars, there are four different types or ways humans express love:
(1) Affection (Greek – storge)
This is the simplest type of love, one that is experienced within the family or someone we are fond of. It takes place when fondness meets familiarity. This love is able to transcend many discriminating factors, i.e. one overlooks the faults of another because they like the other in some way. Think of a sibling whom you love but have nothing in common with. You love them because they are your sibling. However, although this may seem like strength, it is what actually makes this type of love vulnerable to hurt. Once the blinders are taken off, usually much hurt is left behind. This is usually the type of love that a mother has for her child. Affection is a very natural type of love for humans to express.
(2) Friendship (Greek – philia)
This form of love exists when two or more people share something, or many things, in common and enjoy being with one another in a non-romantic way. Friendship is the least natural of the ways love is expressed, for friendship is not necessary for survival (although some may argue that point). Friends are chosen, not given to us. Friendship is more important than the mere companionship, which, according to Lewis, can exist without the people loving one another.
(3) Eros (Greek – eros)
This type of love is usually seen as the highest stage of love, although it is truly not. Eros is the sense or emotion of being “in love” with someone romantically. Lewis says that this type of love is completely distinct of sexuality, and that mere sexuality does not equal being “in love” with a person. The problem with this form of love, although the feelings associated with it are equal to that of pure happiness, is that this blind devotion has led to many tragedies. The reason for this is, in Lewis’ own words from the book, "love begins to be a demon the moment [it] begins to be a god."
(4) Charity (Greek – agape)
This is the highest form of human love possible, and it is rarely achieved apart from another and greater Source. Charitable love is unconditional and unmerited love; in other words, the person receiving the love has done nothing to earn it and is not dependent upon trying to earn love from the one who is giving it. Agape love is self-less, sacrificial, and is willing to die for another. Yet this love has a potential threat as well; humans easily mistake the other 3 types of love (affection, friendship, and especially eros) for charity. And those who try to express this love by doing “good works” for others often both fall short of true agape, for their love is not real, or they flaunt it, and thereby “warp” this type of love.
if you are a Christian, i am quite sure that you have heard the word agape many times...although the Bible was written in Greek, agape is the word for love that represents God most often...philia, or friendship, is also used to express God as well, but definitely not as often
if agape, or charity, is the word used to express God in the Bible, and if we remember what charity is defined as, then we know that God must be related to love that is given without conditions, without restrictions, without anyone having to earn that person’s love...
perhaps one of the most profound statements written about God in the Bible is a very simple one:
God is Love (1 John 4:16)
for a long time, i did not fully understand this statement until i read Lewis’ book as well as studied the Scriptures myself in many translations, as well as Greek...the statement God is Love does not mean that God has love, God gives love, God shows love, etc...
it says: God IS Love
God, in His very essence, is the expression of real, untainted, pure, L-O-V-E... therefore, none of His other characteristics are without Love as well, because God does absolutely nothing apart from this Love which makes up His very being
the human love of charity, or agape, is the best way we know how to define the Love of God, and charity is highly unlikely to be expressed by a person unless he or she knows what real love is, or Who it comes from
it is here that we find the problem with love in our society and our world
all of our feelings of affection, and all of our articulations of friendship, and all of our enchantments with being “in love”, are not real love...these are all good feelings and emotions, yet unless they are under the subordination of agape, they will fall short
and even if others give us affection, and we have friendship in our lives, and someone else romantically “loves” us, we are going to feel empty, shallow, and longing for some greater Love within our lives...and there is no one on this planet who can deny that they have not before, or do not still, yearn for something more
that greater Love can only come from God, through a relationship with Jesus Christ
we know that God is Love by the example Jesus gave us when he came to this earth...He gave up his life for us so that we could once again have that Love relationship with God...so that we are no longer left with that gaping void in our hearts and souls
no love from any other human, or any thing, will ever fill that deep longing in us for true and everlasting and unconditional love...only Jesus Christ can give the water we thirst for that will quench our souls
once we are rightly related to God again, like Adam and Eve once were in the Garden, all of our other expressions of love will be overshadowed by agape and charity...the feelings of affection, friendship, and romance will not go away, or stop being felt, but they will be greater...they will be real...they will last, and we won’t have to try and fake them when the world around us leaves us weary...
i believe that this world would be a completely different place if we all had a love relationship with God through Jesus Christ...if everyone TRULY accepted Christ as his or her Savior, and had a living and active relationship with God, i do not for one second believe that the things we see in our society today would be taking place...i know for a fact that the divorce rate would go down, rehabilitation clinics would close their doors, children and parents would once again be united, and friendships would be lasting and real
according to C.S. Lewis, among many other scholars, there are four different types or ways humans express love:
(1) Affection (Greek – storge)
This is the simplest type of love, one that is experienced within the family or someone we are fond of. It takes place when fondness meets familiarity. This love is able to transcend many discriminating factors, i.e. one overlooks the faults of another because they like the other in some way. Think of a sibling whom you love but have nothing in common with. You love them because they are your sibling. However, although this may seem like strength, it is what actually makes this type of love vulnerable to hurt. Once the blinders are taken off, usually much hurt is left behind. This is usually the type of love that a mother has for her child. Affection is a very natural type of love for humans to express.
(2) Friendship (Greek – philia)
This form of love exists when two or more people share something, or many things, in common and enjoy being with one another in a non-romantic way. Friendship is the least natural of the ways love is expressed, for friendship is not necessary for survival (although some may argue that point). Friends are chosen, not given to us. Friendship is more important than the mere companionship, which, according to Lewis, can exist without the people loving one another.
(3) Eros (Greek – eros)
This type of love is usually seen as the highest stage of love, although it is truly not. Eros is the sense or emotion of being “in love” with someone romantically. Lewis says that this type of love is completely distinct of sexuality, and that mere sexuality does not equal being “in love” with a person. The problem with this form of love, although the feelings associated with it are equal to that of pure happiness, is that this blind devotion has led to many tragedies. The reason for this is, in Lewis’ own words from the book, "love begins to be a demon the moment [it] begins to be a god."
(4) Charity (Greek – agape)
This is the highest form of human love possible, and it is rarely achieved apart from another and greater Source. Charitable love is unconditional and unmerited love; in other words, the person receiving the love has done nothing to earn it and is not dependent upon trying to earn love from the one who is giving it. Agape love is self-less, sacrificial, and is willing to die for another. Yet this love has a potential threat as well; humans easily mistake the other 3 types of love (affection, friendship, and especially eros) for charity. And those who try to express this love by doing “good works” for others often both fall short of true agape, for their love is not real, or they flaunt it, and thereby “warp” this type of love.
if you are a Christian, i am quite sure that you have heard the word agape many times...although the Bible was written in Greek, agape is the word for love that represents God most often...philia, or friendship, is also used to express God as well, but definitely not as often
if agape, or charity, is the word used to express God in the Bible, and if we remember what charity is defined as, then we know that God must be related to love that is given without conditions, without restrictions, without anyone having to earn that person’s love...
perhaps one of the most profound statements written about God in the Bible is a very simple one:
God is Love (1 John 4:16)
for a long time, i did not fully understand this statement until i read Lewis’ book as well as studied the Scriptures myself in many translations, as well as Greek...the statement God is Love does not mean that God has love, God gives love, God shows love, etc...
it says: God IS Love
God, in His very essence, is the expression of real, untainted, pure, L-O-V-E... therefore, none of His other characteristics are without Love as well, because God does absolutely nothing apart from this Love which makes up His very being
the human love of charity, or agape, is the best way we know how to define the Love of God, and charity is highly unlikely to be expressed by a person unless he or she knows what real love is, or Who it comes from
it is here that we find the problem with love in our society and our world
all of our feelings of affection, and all of our articulations of friendship, and all of our enchantments with being “in love”, are not real love...these are all good feelings and emotions, yet unless they are under the subordination of agape, they will fall short
and even if others give us affection, and we have friendship in our lives, and someone else romantically “loves” us, we are going to feel empty, shallow, and longing for some greater Love within our lives...and there is no one on this planet who can deny that they have not before, or do not still, yearn for something more
that greater Love can only come from God, through a relationship with Jesus Christ
we know that God is Love by the example Jesus gave us when he came to this earth...He gave up his life for us so that we could once again have that Love relationship with God...so that we are no longer left with that gaping void in our hearts and souls
no love from any other human, or any thing, will ever fill that deep longing in us for true and everlasting and unconditional love...only Jesus Christ can give the water we thirst for that will quench our souls
once we are rightly related to God again, like Adam and Eve once were in the Garden, all of our other expressions of love will be overshadowed by agape and charity...the feelings of affection, friendship, and romance will not go away, or stop being felt, but they will be greater...they will be real...they will last, and we won’t have to try and fake them when the world around us leaves us weary...
i believe that this world would be a completely different place if we all had a love relationship with God through Jesus Christ...if everyone TRULY accepted Christ as his or her Savior, and had a living and active relationship with God, i do not for one second believe that the things we see in our society today would be taking place...i know for a fact that the divorce rate would go down, rehabilitation clinics would close their doors, children and parents would once again be united, and friendships would be lasting and real
as Dr. Ravi Zacharias, a great Christian apologist and philosopher, said in his book Can Man Live Without God (another must read for all Christians and non-Christians alike): "Our inward look and our outward look are changed by first changing our upward look. That sequence is the only way to bring about real change in human intercourse. Our relationship to God dictates our relationships to one another."
think of an empty pitcher or an empty fuel tank...if we are not continually having fellowship with God our Father, we are running on empty...all of our human efforts to give forth love will come up dry and shallow...it may last for a little while, but eventually it is going to fade...yet if there is a constant flow of life-giving water or “fuel” in our tanks (souls) from Love Himself, the love that we give others will be real
we absolutely, 100%, NEED the Love of God in our lives if we are going to sustain any other type of love that we may express...and who wants to live a life without love? His love is agape love, which means you do not have to earn it, and there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, you can do to earn it...no matter how many good things you do, or how nice of a person you might be, God’s Love cannot be earned...He already loves you...you just have to accept Him and His Love...
if you do not have this Love relationship with God through the Savior Jesus Christ, or if you’re not even sure, please, i beg of you, start one now...today...don’t wait
things will not be perfect...sadly, because of what happened in the Garden with Adam and Eve, they will not be perfect again until Heaven...but we can strive for that perfection with the help of God, and our lives will be changed...His way and will for your life is better, and He knows what you need better than you do! He created you!
pray and ask Jesus Christ to come into your life, to pour his Healing Love into your heart and into your soul...that tugging on your heart that you feel is Him...and i guarantee that you will no longer be searching for something more for your life, because you will have found the answer to it all
11.6.08
love as it was meant to be...
part 1:
as i look around the world, i am disheartened over and over again by the ideas of love and how far things have gone wrong when it comes to this beautiful gift God gave us...
i am also humbled by the things God has been revealing to my heart on this serious (to me) yet not-so-serious (to the world) topic as of late
C.S. Lewis wrote an entire book on the subject of love...its called The Four Loves, and whether you follow Christ or not, it is a book you should read before you die
i will probably use a few things he talks about in his book, in this blog...but i want to share what God is showing me in my every day life
first, think for a moment or look around at what our world’s perception of love is...sometimes, it means a parent loving their child because its “theirs”...sometimes, it means 2 people falling in love romantically...sometimes, it means a friend loving another friend...sometimes, it means a physical attachment to someone or something, usually resulting in an unhealthy outcome because the person or thing has become an idol
but none of these things equals real love...its why children end up hating their parents, for the “love” that they were shown was based on conditional factors or an “it’s my duty” kind of love...its why the 2 people (or sometimes only one of them) who fell in love so quickly, fall out of love in the same amount of time...its why friendships that seem real usually mean nothing more than going out to bars together...and its why people find themselves in rehabilitation clinics or other places in order to try to end the destructive relationship they are in with someone or something
this may sound harsh, but the reason all of these things happen is our own fault
it started several thousand, maybe a million, years ago, with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden...their relationship with one another was absolutely perfect...no fighting, no shame, no guilt, no hurt, no doubt, no fear, no financial problems, no disappointments, no etc... etc...just pure and utter happiness and love between them...
however, this was only because their relationship with their Creator was perfect...the Bible says that they walked with God in the garden every day...they spoke to Him, and He spoke back...they loved Him, and He loved them back...He made them because He loved them first, because He wanted them to experience that Love with Him and with one another
just imagine for a moment what that kind of perfection might be like...we all, within the deepest places of our soul, long for this utopia, whether we admit it or not...
yet something happened...temptation came along, and Eve was not strong enough to resist it...she listened to the lies that came from the pit of hell...the same lies that we still listen to today...the serpent (satan) told her that she needed more...that what she had with God was not enough, and that she couldn’t trust or believe what He had spoken to her...that if she only took one bite of the forbidden apple, she would know everything that God knew...that she would be as a god herself...so she took the bait, and so did Adam...and things backfired in a big way
the perfect love relationship the two had with Love Himself was destroyed, and the relationship they would have with one another, as well as their relationships with others, would be from there on out more difficult than they ever imagined
over time, things continued to worsen...you can look at a history book to see what the results have been...nowadays our teenagers believe that sex with some random peer is love, even if only for the night, and this comes straight from what they see on television and in movies...everyone wants to “fall in love”...yet if people had God’s love in their lives, there wouldn’t be a 50% divorce rate for both Christians and non-Christians in our country...infidelity is at an all-time high within our society, and in some parts, it is accepted...there wouldn’t be sexual abuse cases of children being molested by priests within the Catholic Church...there wouldn’t be murders happening between wives whose husbands are pastors of churches...you wouldn’t hear stories of mothers drowning their children in the bathtub in a “moment of insanity”...there wouldn’t be any of the awful things that we see every day in the media, and yet the reporters seem dumbfounded as to why things like this are happening...are they dumbfounded? or have they just blinded themselves to the Truth???
i have a very simple explanation, but not one that everyone will want to hear...
if everything around us goes against the very thought of Love Himself, let alone a relationship with Him, then how is it possible for us to really know and experience love as it was meant to be?
the answer: unless we once again have a love relationship with Love Himself through Jesus Christ, we will never, no matter how “in love” we think we might be with someone, or how much we “love” our children, be able to experience or give love in its purest and truest and most satisfying form
Dr. Jerry Wall’s, a philosophy professor from Asbury seminary, teaches a wonderful class on C.S. Lewis, and gives lectures on several books that the students read during the course...while discussing Lewis’ book The Four Loves, he said this (from my personal notes in class):
"The point is that we cannot be truly and deeply happy if God is not our supreme Love. We cannot, in the long run, sustain any of the natural loves without being rightly related to Love Himself."
...part 2 coming soon...
as i look around the world, i am disheartened over and over again by the ideas of love and how far things have gone wrong when it comes to this beautiful gift God gave us...
i am also humbled by the things God has been revealing to my heart on this serious (to me) yet not-so-serious (to the world) topic as of late
C.S. Lewis wrote an entire book on the subject of love...its called The Four Loves, and whether you follow Christ or not, it is a book you should read before you die
i will probably use a few things he talks about in his book, in this blog...but i want to share what God is showing me in my every day life
first, think for a moment or look around at what our world’s perception of love is...sometimes, it means a parent loving their child because its “theirs”...sometimes, it means 2 people falling in love romantically...sometimes, it means a friend loving another friend...sometimes, it means a physical attachment to someone or something, usually resulting in an unhealthy outcome because the person or thing has become an idol
but none of these things equals real love...its why children end up hating their parents, for the “love” that they were shown was based on conditional factors or an “it’s my duty” kind of love...its why the 2 people (or sometimes only one of them) who fell in love so quickly, fall out of love in the same amount of time...its why friendships that seem real usually mean nothing more than going out to bars together...and its why people find themselves in rehabilitation clinics or other places in order to try to end the destructive relationship they are in with someone or something
this may sound harsh, but the reason all of these things happen is our own fault
it started several thousand, maybe a million, years ago, with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden...their relationship with one another was absolutely perfect...no fighting, no shame, no guilt, no hurt, no doubt, no fear, no financial problems, no disappointments, no etc... etc...just pure and utter happiness and love between them...
however, this was only because their relationship with their Creator was perfect...the Bible says that they walked with God in the garden every day...they spoke to Him, and He spoke back...they loved Him, and He loved them back...He made them because He loved them first, because He wanted them to experience that Love with Him and with one another
just imagine for a moment what that kind of perfection might be like...we all, within the deepest places of our soul, long for this utopia, whether we admit it or not...
yet something happened...temptation came along, and Eve was not strong enough to resist it...she listened to the lies that came from the pit of hell...the same lies that we still listen to today...the serpent (satan) told her that she needed more...that what she had with God was not enough, and that she couldn’t trust or believe what He had spoken to her...that if she only took one bite of the forbidden apple, she would know everything that God knew...that she would be as a god herself...so she took the bait, and so did Adam...and things backfired in a big way
the perfect love relationship the two had with Love Himself was destroyed, and the relationship they would have with one another, as well as their relationships with others, would be from there on out more difficult than they ever imagined
over time, things continued to worsen...you can look at a history book to see what the results have been...nowadays our teenagers believe that sex with some random peer is love, even if only for the night, and this comes straight from what they see on television and in movies...everyone wants to “fall in love”...yet if people had God’s love in their lives, there wouldn’t be a 50% divorce rate for both Christians and non-Christians in our country...infidelity is at an all-time high within our society, and in some parts, it is accepted...there wouldn’t be sexual abuse cases of children being molested by priests within the Catholic Church...there wouldn’t be murders happening between wives whose husbands are pastors of churches...you wouldn’t hear stories of mothers drowning their children in the bathtub in a “moment of insanity”...there wouldn’t be any of the awful things that we see every day in the media, and yet the reporters seem dumbfounded as to why things like this are happening...are they dumbfounded? or have they just blinded themselves to the Truth???
i have a very simple explanation, but not one that everyone will want to hear...
if everything around us goes against the very thought of Love Himself, let alone a relationship with Him, then how is it possible for us to really know and experience love as it was meant to be?
the answer: unless we once again have a love relationship with Love Himself through Jesus Christ, we will never, no matter how “in love” we think we might be with someone, or how much we “love” our children, be able to experience or give love in its purest and truest and most satisfying form
Dr. Jerry Wall’s, a philosophy professor from Asbury seminary, teaches a wonderful class on C.S. Lewis, and gives lectures on several books that the students read during the course...while discussing Lewis’ book The Four Loves, he said this (from my personal notes in class):
"The point is that we cannot be truly and deeply happy if God is not our supreme Love. We cannot, in the long run, sustain any of the natural loves without being rightly related to Love Himself."
...part 2 coming soon...
10.6.08
i no longer care...
"If you love the world, the Father's love is not in you. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful people, the lust of their eyes and their boasting about what they have and do—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." ~ 1 John 2:15-17
i'm to the point in my life where i no longer care for the things of this world like i used to...
i no longer care about my popularity...i used to want to fit in with everyone around me and used to worry about what people thought of me, who i was, whether i was cool or not, every second of my life...however, my identity is found in Jesus Christ alone, and as far as what other people think, i no longer care...
i no longer care about my success in this life...i used to want my name on a plaque, or be recognized in front of hundreds of thousands of people...i used to think that if i was a member of all the best and cool organizations, that people would like me...however, i only want to serve Jesus Christ for the rest of my life, and as far as whether anyone knows my name for it, i no longer care...
i no longer care about what i have...i used to want the latest fashions, the perfect hair and makeup, the tannest skin...i used to want the biggest house, the nicest car, the prettiest furniture and decorations, even the latest technology and toys...however, i now only want the things that Jesus Christ can offer, the treasures that will never rust or grow dusty, the ones that are found in Heaven, and as far as my stuff goes, i no longer care...
i no longer care about the way i look...i used to want the perfect body, and striving for it day in and day out, sometimes not eating and starving myself, sometimes working out until i made myself sick...however, i now know that i was fearfully and wonderfully made, and that the King of all Kings calls me His daughter, His princess, and that i don't have to try to fit into some media mold that the world portrays...as far as how i look, i no longer care...
i'm sick of the things of this world, and i'm sick and tired of Christians who say they follow Christ but have made no change in their lives and have not given up everything for the One who gave up everything for them...i'm tired of walking into Church and seeing women who are in their 40's and 50's dressing like they are in junior high and wearing so much makeup that you can't even tell who they are...i'm tired of walking into Church and hearing the latest gossip or being a part of the sunday social hour...i'm tired of walking into Church and seeing people go through the motions yet again and not really worshiping the One True God...
i don't care where it takes me, i don't care if i'm the poorest of the poor, i don't care if i have no education and nothing to offer anyone...i just want Jesus...i want His love, i want the kind of life He lived, and i want to be only His...
is anyone else with me?
will the real followers of Christ please stand up?!?
i'm to the point in my life where i no longer care for the things of this world like i used to...
i no longer care about my popularity...i used to want to fit in with everyone around me and used to worry about what people thought of me, who i was, whether i was cool or not, every second of my life...however, my identity is found in Jesus Christ alone, and as far as what other people think, i no longer care...
i no longer care about my success in this life...i used to want my name on a plaque, or be recognized in front of hundreds of thousands of people...i used to think that if i was a member of all the best and cool organizations, that people would like me...however, i only want to serve Jesus Christ for the rest of my life, and as far as whether anyone knows my name for it, i no longer care...
i no longer care about what i have...i used to want the latest fashions, the perfect hair and makeup, the tannest skin...i used to want the biggest house, the nicest car, the prettiest furniture and decorations, even the latest technology and toys...however, i now only want the things that Jesus Christ can offer, the treasures that will never rust or grow dusty, the ones that are found in Heaven, and as far as my stuff goes, i no longer care...
i no longer care about the way i look...i used to want the perfect body, and striving for it day in and day out, sometimes not eating and starving myself, sometimes working out until i made myself sick...however, i now know that i was fearfully and wonderfully made, and that the King of all Kings calls me His daughter, His princess, and that i don't have to try to fit into some media mold that the world portrays...as far as how i look, i no longer care...
i'm sick of the things of this world, and i'm sick and tired of Christians who say they follow Christ but have made no change in their lives and have not given up everything for the One who gave up everything for them...i'm tired of walking into Church and seeing women who are in their 40's and 50's dressing like they are in junior high and wearing so much makeup that you can't even tell who they are...i'm tired of walking into Church and hearing the latest gossip or being a part of the sunday social hour...i'm tired of walking into Church and seeing people go through the motions yet again and not really worshiping the One True God...
i don't care where it takes me, i don't care if i'm the poorest of the poor, i don't care if i have no education and nothing to offer anyone...i just want Jesus...i want His love, i want the kind of life He lived, and i want to be only His...
is anyone else with me?
will the real followers of Christ please stand up?!?
9.6.08
deployment...
so i've just found out that my husband of only 2 1/2 months will be going to Iraq with the National Guard this coming December...
he will be gone for a year
i'm not really sure how i'm feeling at this moment, but there are a million things running through my mind
we knew that there was a possibility of him being called overseas, but we didn't know when or even if it would happen at all
then there was a rumor about him going in November, but as Paul says, there are always rumors flying around when you're in the Guard
the December date is confirmed though...we will have Christmas day together, and then he leaves the next day
i didn't sleep much last night, even though i took some Benedryl to help with that...it didn't work...
i cried a lot, but not really because i'm scared or worried...i know God is going to keep Paul safe because there is a lot more the Lord has planned for us on this earth...i cried because i just cannot imagine being away from him for so long
right now he's gone for his annual 2 weeks summer training...its only been since Friday that i saw him when he left, and i already feel completely lost without him
i'm not sure what else to write at the moment...i'm still kind of in shock i suppose
however, all prayers, mainly for him, are more than appreciated...
he will be gone for a year
i'm not really sure how i'm feeling at this moment, but there are a million things running through my mind
we knew that there was a possibility of him being called overseas, but we didn't know when or even if it would happen at all
then there was a rumor about him going in November, but as Paul says, there are always rumors flying around when you're in the Guard
the December date is confirmed though...we will have Christmas day together, and then he leaves the next day
i didn't sleep much last night, even though i took some Benedryl to help with that...it didn't work...
i cried a lot, but not really because i'm scared or worried...i know God is going to keep Paul safe because there is a lot more the Lord has planned for us on this earth...i cried because i just cannot imagine being away from him for so long
right now he's gone for his annual 2 weeks summer training...its only been since Friday that i saw him when he left, and i already feel completely lost without him
i'm not sure what else to write at the moment...i'm still kind of in shock i suppose
however, all prayers, mainly for him, are more than appreciated...
7.6.08
a treatise on marriage...
wow...its been too long since i've written a blog...but so much has been happening in my life that i honestly haven't had the time
so, i am now a married woman...
unbelievable, i know...it seems like it happened so fast
however, besides giving my life to Jesus Christ, this is the best decision i have ever made...really
its funny how people ask me all day long "so, hows married life" or "do you like being married" etc...
i usually answer with "its wonderful" or "i couldn't be happier"...but in all honesty, its much more than that
Paul has blessed me in more ways than i ever thought possible...there is nothing better than seeing his smiling face every morning and every night...knowing that he is there for me constantly...having someone to talk to always...praying with him every day and every night before we go to sleep...
there were walls i had built up around myself for so long that have come crashing down since we've been together...but even more so now that we are married...there were deep, deep places of hurt that i had buried for so long that have been dug up by God during this time as well...but now that i have someone so close to experience the healing process with, it has made it so much easier...not perfect, but better...my husband is a burden-carrier for Christ...he carries my burdens, and i carry his as well
our wedding was incredible...and the honeymoon even more so...but just being with him in real life, every day, is more than enough...
a lot of people say "its just marriage, it happens every day" or "most marriages don't even last", but i am convinced that the Lord knew what He was doing when he brought Adam and Eve together...
i used to think otherwise...i used to be cold, hard, and bitter about the whole idea of marriage, and used to look at married couples with this insane jealousy yet at the same time loathing what they had because i thought i'd never have it...there has been a lot of need for repentence and broken-ness in my heart as of late...
its kind of hard to explain the spiritual connection Paul and i share...some people may call it being "soulmates" but its not that...its a divine relationship, a connection that our souls share that will never break...this is why at weddings you hear the line "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder"
...its a look between the two of us when something is wrong with the other, and you don't have to say a word because you already know what that other person is feeling or thinking...its an interest you discover that you both share that you didn't already know about before...its an evening of sitting around doing absolutely nothing but having the most wondeful time just because you're together
i know that thing are going to be hard at times...in fact, we are already facing a future that is a bit uncertain in the next year or so (more on this later)...but constant time spent with God in prayer and in His Word, both individually and together, continues to keep us strong and full of faith, hope, and love
i'm definitely not an expert yet at this whole marriage thing, but i believe with all of my heart that its only going to get better as the years go by...i tell Paul all the time that one life with him is not enough...its true...i wish i had 10,000
do i miss being single? no, but i don't regret it either...i look back on that time of my life now with joy in my heart, thanking God that He had me all to Himself for a little while and used that time to make me into the woman he was (and is STILL) preparing me to become...have i forgetten all of the pain? not for one second! have i forgotten the many tear-filled, sleepless nights? never will i...
yet it was soooo worth it...i wouldn't be the person i am today if i had just married the first guy who came along...i wouldn't be the person i am today if i had not been single for as long as i was...i wouldn't be the person i am today if my life had gone any other way than it did
just because i'm married doesn't mean He's finished with me yet, nor with Paul...on our wedding program, we asked our family and friends, after thanking them for being there for us for all those years, to continue to pray for and support us as we grow in the image of Christ together...just because i am married doesn't mean that time of growing and becoming more like Jesus has stopped...in fact, i have grown leaps and bounds in the past couple of weeks...but i am still Sara...the same Sara i have always been...and thats one reason i married Paul...because he loves the Sara i am, the Sara i was, and the Sara i will become...
one thing i keep in mind all the time is that Paul and i are not perfect...we never will be...as Christians, we strive after perfection in God's image (see Matthew 5:48, 1 Corinthians 13:10, Hebrews 10:14, etc)...but we are going to mess up and make mistakes no matter what...however, if i love Paul as not only my husband, but as my brother in Christ and as my friend, i will be slow to anger and to speak, and quick to forgive and to give grace...if i love Paul the way God loves Paul, then there is absolutely nothing he can do to make me stop loving him...as his wife, this is what i am called to do...
marriage is amazing, it is wonderful, and i love Paul more every day we are together...but if it were not for the love of Christ in my heart, i know that things would not be this way, and cannot be that way for anyone who is dating, engaged, or married...i say this with all humility, because i know that if it were up to me, i would fail...i can only have a successful marriage through the power of the Holy Spirit, the truth and grace of Jesus Christ, and the blessing of God the Father...
"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now." ~ C.S. Lewis
so, i am now a married woman...
unbelievable, i know...it seems like it happened so fast
however, besides giving my life to Jesus Christ, this is the best decision i have ever made...really
its funny how people ask me all day long "so, hows married life" or "do you like being married" etc...
i usually answer with "its wonderful" or "i couldn't be happier"...but in all honesty, its much more than that
Paul has blessed me in more ways than i ever thought possible...there is nothing better than seeing his smiling face every morning and every night...knowing that he is there for me constantly...having someone to talk to always...praying with him every day and every night before we go to sleep...
there were walls i had built up around myself for so long that have come crashing down since we've been together...but even more so now that we are married...there were deep, deep places of hurt that i had buried for so long that have been dug up by God during this time as well...but now that i have someone so close to experience the healing process with, it has made it so much easier...not perfect, but better...my husband is a burden-carrier for Christ...he carries my burdens, and i carry his as well
our wedding was incredible...and the honeymoon even more so...but just being with him in real life, every day, is more than enough...
a lot of people say "its just marriage, it happens every day" or "most marriages don't even last", but i am convinced that the Lord knew what He was doing when he brought Adam and Eve together...
i used to think otherwise...i used to be cold, hard, and bitter about the whole idea of marriage, and used to look at married couples with this insane jealousy yet at the same time loathing what they had because i thought i'd never have it...there has been a lot of need for repentence and broken-ness in my heart as of late...
its kind of hard to explain the spiritual connection Paul and i share...some people may call it being "soulmates" but its not that...its a divine relationship, a connection that our souls share that will never break...this is why at weddings you hear the line "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder"
...its a look between the two of us when something is wrong with the other, and you don't have to say a word because you already know what that other person is feeling or thinking...its an interest you discover that you both share that you didn't already know about before...its an evening of sitting around doing absolutely nothing but having the most wondeful time just because you're together
i know that thing are going to be hard at times...in fact, we are already facing a future that is a bit uncertain in the next year or so (more on this later)...but constant time spent with God in prayer and in His Word, both individually and together, continues to keep us strong and full of faith, hope, and love
i'm definitely not an expert yet at this whole marriage thing, but i believe with all of my heart that its only going to get better as the years go by...i tell Paul all the time that one life with him is not enough...its true...i wish i had 10,000
do i miss being single? no, but i don't regret it either...i look back on that time of my life now with joy in my heart, thanking God that He had me all to Himself for a little while and used that time to make me into the woman he was (and is STILL) preparing me to become...have i forgetten all of the pain? not for one second! have i forgotten the many tear-filled, sleepless nights? never will i...
yet it was soooo worth it...i wouldn't be the person i am today if i had just married the first guy who came along...i wouldn't be the person i am today if i had not been single for as long as i was...i wouldn't be the person i am today if my life had gone any other way than it did
just because i'm married doesn't mean He's finished with me yet, nor with Paul...on our wedding program, we asked our family and friends, after thanking them for being there for us for all those years, to continue to pray for and support us as we grow in the image of Christ together...just because i am married doesn't mean that time of growing and becoming more like Jesus has stopped...in fact, i have grown leaps and bounds in the past couple of weeks...but i am still Sara...the same Sara i have always been...and thats one reason i married Paul...because he loves the Sara i am, the Sara i was, and the Sara i will become...
one thing i keep in mind all the time is that Paul and i are not perfect...we never will be...as Christians, we strive after perfection in God's image (see Matthew 5:48, 1 Corinthians 13:10, Hebrews 10:14, etc)...but we are going to mess up and make mistakes no matter what...however, if i love Paul as not only my husband, but as my brother in Christ and as my friend, i will be slow to anger and to speak, and quick to forgive and to give grace...if i love Paul the way God loves Paul, then there is absolutely nothing he can do to make me stop loving him...as his wife, this is what i am called to do...
marriage is amazing, it is wonderful, and i love Paul more every day we are together...but if it were not for the love of Christ in my heart, i know that things would not be this way, and cannot be that way for anyone who is dating, engaged, or married...i say this with all humility, because i know that if it were up to me, i would fail...i can only have a successful marriage through the power of the Holy Spirit, the truth and grace of Jesus Christ, and the blessing of God the Father...
"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now." ~ C.S. Lewis
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