20.1.09

while i'm waiting...

so i am back at seminary in Kentucky, although i am only here for a few weeks instead of a whole semester...i was able to work out doing all of my mentored ministry (internships, basically) at home so that i can be at home during the times Paul is able to get leave (we are praying for a 2-week break in July)!

it seems like so much has changed since i was last here...most of my friends have graduated and moved on, although the few that are left here i am so thankful for

perhaps it's not so much the school or the things around me that have changed, but perhaps it is i who have changed in many ways since being here a year and a half ago

when i moved home back in the Spring of 2007, i was going through a lot of upheaval in my life...a lot of confusion, depression, health problems, etc..., that needed to be dealt with away from the seminary...if it had not been for friends and family back home, i would probably be in a mental institution...and of course, during that time God brought my wonderful DH along, and i got married to the man of my dreams...like i said in the last post, marriage did not make my hurt and problems go away...but God has used Paul in ways to minister to my soul that i never expected

God has done a lot in my life in almost 2 years and has brought me to a place in my walk with Him that i've never been...there was a LOT of growing up and changing that needed to take place in me...of course, we never stop growing in the Lord, but praise Him that the old continues to pass away and the new continues to pour in

i feel that once again i'm in a place of deep hunger for the Lord and am feeling almost paralyzed spiritually...i feel lost, although i know i'm not...so much has changed again, but this time the change is because of circumstances and not inside of me...this change has been more difficult to welcome than the Lord's work on my heart...

the first thing my DH said to me when we found out he was being deployed was that he did not want my life to stop while he was gone...that he wanted me to continue working for God, to finish seminary, and to grow and mature as a person and as a Christian...and i still have a lot of that to do

but i'm hopeful, and i believe that God is going to bless this time that Paul and i are apart...i believe that He wants to do a mighty work in me and in my DH...i am praying the He will do more in my life and continue to transform me in the things that need to be transformed, as well as with Paul, during the time we are apart...i'm praying that God uses this time to strengthen our relationships with Him, so that we will be better for one another

there's a song in the movie Fireproof that i have fallen in love with recently, and if you turn the volume up, you can here it on here...i posted the lyrics below...they describe what i'm feeling right now...and i am waiting on the Lord:

While I'm Waiting by John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting,
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

2 comments:

Dana-from chaos to Grace said...

I know in my heart and in my HEAD, that we go through these times to GROW our faith in the Lord. I know this. I am well aware. But while we are IN these times, it sure is hard. Just know that He has something BIGGER for you planned, and you are GROWING to accomplish it. Maybe comfort you a little bit.

Have I said before...please tell your DH thank you.

The Pink Potpourri said...

i'll be praying for you and paul during this time! soak up as much as you can while at seminary...its such a precious season of life to learn from others experienced in ministry!