and she told me that she was praying for me every second she got...which is good, cause i need prayer for sure
and then she asked me how i was doing
now there are times where i lie when someone asks me that question...i'll say "oh, i'm doing fine, just busy" and usually that means "i'm a stressed-out mess right now and all i want to do is hide in my room all day with some good movies and a book"
but today i actually meant what i said, when i said "you know...its unbelievable Mama Anne, but i have so much peace right now"....to which she replied "i'm the same way too sugar...God is really taking care of us isn't He?"
Paul is now in Texas, training for his deployment to Iraq...his picture will be in the paper sometime soon, and i felt honored that it was his smiling face chosen to go in there, with my name next to it as his wife
have i cried?
but there is a calm amongst those tears right now that i cannot explain
you may know the verse..."...and a peace that surpasses understanding will guard your hearts and your minds...."
when you rely on the grace of Christ to see you through an extremely difficult time, there is peace that not only surpasses understanding, but also doubt, fear, worry, heartache, etc... etc...
the fear that i have been feeling for months now is not there...i don't know where it went, but it is gone, praise God
i am trusting, hanging on to every Word He speaks, hanging on to His love, joy, hope, and having faith when i could easily feel like giving up
its also a peace that surpasses the lack of understanding from others...there are times when i feel absolutely alone, although i know that many, many others before me and at the same time as me are away from the ones they love...however, at times i feel guilty for being upset that he's not here, or that i'm being selfish for not wanting him to be gone for a whole year...like i have to hide the pain i feel...there are times where i am angry when it seems that no one cares; that everyone around me is going on with their busy little lives, buying houses, having babies, getting ready to celebrate Christmas, when at the moment, i feel like my life doesn't make one iota of sense....but thats when the peace comes
i am so thankful for a godly husband who i know with all my heart is thinking of me while i'm thinking of him...who encourages me just because i know that he's Paul, and that he is serving his brothers and sisters with him in the Guard, helping them also to trust in the Lord, who gives peace that surpasses more than just understanding
if you are reading this, do you have peace that covers all, or is your life and your heart and mind plagued by doubt and fear???
He who has sent His Son has sent him in the form of Peace...the Prince of Peace
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." ~ Isaiah 9:6
come to Him, and experience the overwhelming feeling that He holds your life in His hand as well