(I apologize for my delay on this series! I've been super busy with Stephen. Tomorrow morning he has another endoscopy to find out why he keeps having dried blood coming up through his feeding tube. Please pray for him. If you're reading this and your little one has health issues, special needs, challenges/difficulties, and you need someone to talk to, please contact me. I am praying for you too).
"A Special Gift: A Devotional for Mothers of Children with Unique Challenges"
Day 3 - Permission to Wrestle with God
"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day...So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: 'For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.'" ~ Genesis 32:24, 30
Many of us are under the false understanding that we should never, ever voice our displeasure to God. You may have been taught by other Christians that it is wrong to display anger, or that a good girl should always be accepting of whatever may befall her, never wavering in her faith.
We see in the book of Genesis that Jacob did indeed wrestle with God. He wrestled all night long in a desperate battle. In the end, Jacob begged for a blessing and received it.
Have you taken the time to wrestle with God? Have you told Him how heartbroken you are that your baby is not "perfect"? Have you told Him of the anger you feel over the pain your child must endure - whether it be physical or emotional? Have you told Him it isn't fair that your child is the one with problems?
God knows it isn't fair. He knows your anger. He not only gives you permission to express it to Him, but He invites you to do so.
Take some time. Go for a short drive. Walk in the woods. Have your friend or relative watch the baby for a little while so you may wander through a silent house. And talk out loud. Tell God your fears, your anger, your pain. Yell, scream, cry, and reach out to Him.
God is BIG enough to hear it. He can handle it.
You were never designed to hold it all inside. You are a relational being - created for relationship with God and with others. And what healthy relationship can thrive unless we are honest and open with one another?
Once you have expressed yourself, sit quietly. Allow God to touch your heart with His healing balm. Let His peace restore you and strengthen you.
Never, ever be afraid to go to your Father in heaven, no matter what you are feeling, no matter how many times you must express your pain. He is there for you, always.
Prayer: Lord, thank You that I can always come to You. Thank You for Your understanding ear and compassionate heart. Help me to always be open with You about my thoughts and feelings.
Copyright 2000 by Carrie T. Gruman-Trinkner