6.4.09

wedding ettiquete 101...

my mom is a wedding planner/florist, and many times i have gone along to the weddings she does to help out...most of the time we are there during the wedding and reception, and we see most of what goes on...it’s a lot of fun, but you wouldn’t believe what i’ve seen...i've also attended and have been in more weddings than i can count, and its unbelievable what takes place at them...not to mention some of the things that happened at my own wedding

so in honor of some of the crazy, ridiculous, and even flat-out rude things i have witnessed at all of these weddings, i’ve compiled a list of what NOT to do at a wedding below...feel free to pass along to others...and enjoy!

1. a spandex, leopard-print mini-skirt that is way too tight/small does not make you look good at a wedding (even if you're a toothpick)...this is a special occasion...save the spandex for the clubs, yo

2. if you are a bridesmaid or someone else who stands up at the altar during the wedding, do not break out your nail file and start filing your nails during the ceremony...at least try to act like you care if you are standing with the bride

3. turn off your cell phone during the ceremony...or at least put it on vibrate

4. if the invitation asks you to R.S.V.P., take 2 minutes out of your busy day to say yes or no...and if your invitation includes a response card, complete with stamped envelope for your convenience, it’s not there for decoration

5. if there is music playing at the reception when you arrive, that does not mean you can start breaking it down on the dance floor...let the bride and groom have their first dance before you shake what ya mama gave ya

6. white, cream, ivory, or the like, is not okay attire to wear to any wedding, even after labor day...that is the bride’s color only

7. a reception with an open bar does not mean a large “FREE BEER” sign is hanging up...getting sloppy drunk is for the frat party folks

8. letting your kid trash the decorations does not constitute “play time”...bring them toys to play with or a coloring book/crayons if you must

9. telling the groom what the bride looks like before he sees her will not “help him calm his nerves”...it’s his wedding day...there should be an ounce of surprise/suspense

10. yelling “GIT-ER-DONE” after the minister pronounces the bride and groom as married should never happen...never

11. whistling at, winking at, or “checkin’ out” the bride on her wedding day may leave you with a black eye from the groom and 2 very angry fathers

12. if you’re the groom, hitting on another female guest at your own wedding is unacceptable...you’re getting married for heaven’s sake

13. if you're a guest, or even the bride and groom, making out on the dance floor at the reception is a tad bit over-the-line

14. trying to be in all of the pictures with the bride/groom does not mean you are “best friends”...quit hogging the camera

15. just because there is a buffet at the reception doesn’t mean it’s “all-you-can-eat”

16. giving a used item from your own household as a gift, however nicely wrapped, is not a nice gesture...if you can afford the wrapping paper, give a simple and sweet card instead

17. respect the names on your invitation...if it is addressed to you and your significant other only, do not bring all 10 of your children and their cousins to the wedding

18. if you’re late for the wedding, don’t walk down the center aisle looking for a seat during the ceremony, while asking people to move down a pew...stand at the back of the church quietly until the ceremony has ended

19. during the reception, do not jump up on the tables and do the can-can while lifting up your skirts...save it for Vegas baby

20. if you didn’t receive an invitation at all, even by word-of-mouth, it means you’re not invited to attend...and if you’re feelings are hurt by not being invited, do not call the bride/groom and start a fight on their big day (that happened at a friend's wedding)...and certainly do not harass the reception hostesses if you’re name is not on the guest list because you forgot to reply (that happened at my wedding!!!)

21. if you are a groomsman who stands up during the wedding ceremony, do not crack jokes with the groom/other groomsmen while at the altar

22. if you do not like the food at the reception, or something is wrong with your food, do not tell the bride/groom, even months later...usually they are not in the kitchen checking on the cook/caterer during their own wedding

23. if you must leave the reception early, do not ask for a doggy-bag for your uneaten food, or for a slice of cake to go, especially if the food has not been served/the cake has not been cut

24. your long-haired chihauhua is not invited to the wedding...get a dog-sitter

25. do not ask the DJ to play a specific song for you or for the bride and groom...”Baby Got Back” is not an appropriate dedication to the bride on her wedding day

26. most likely, the bride/groom will not carry change for $100 bills during the money dance, so don’t ask

27. placing cameras on the guest tables for you to use during the reception is supposed to be a nice way for the bride/groom to have memories of their big day...taking pictures of your girlfriend’s private parts or of the back-side of the robust aunt is not a good memory

28. it is not absolutely necessary for you to give a 30-minute speech/toast if you are just a friend of the bride/groom...if speeches are welcome, keep it at 5 mins. or less...better yet, tell them how you feel about them later on

29. if the bride is pregnant, and the family doesn’t know it yet, don’t announce it at the wedding or reception

30. refrain from allowing your child/children to have alcohol at the reception...believe it or not, it is still illegal for underage minors to drink at a wedding

4 comments:

The Pink Potpourri said...

WOW. i can't believe you've actually witnessed those things. what are these people thinking? its unbelieveable how untactful some people can be. get some manners!!!

Maternity Wedding Guide said...

Hilarious!
And sadly just so believable!
One more for your list is the drunken relative "singing a special song" to the newly married couple ... seen it and NEVER want to see a whole room of people cringing again like that!
Thanks for making me laugh.

Kim said...

I nearly fell on the floor laughing! Having just completed my son's wedding last summer, I totally agree with these "donts." It is amazing, mind blowing what some will do. And yes, the leopard print dress showed up at my son's wedding!

sparkled*life said...

LOL this is way too funny! Maybe copies of these should be made to send out with wedding invitations! Totally cracked me up!